How to get more of what you want in your relationship

Hey there, lovebirds! So, you want more out of your relationship, huh? Well, you've come to the right place because we're about to embark on a journey of getting what you both desire. Let's dive in!

1. The Art of Appreciation

Who doesn’t like to be appreciated? We tend to get more of what we want when we focus on what we want. Let’s say your partner brings you a hot cup of coffee in bed occasionally and you really, really like it. Tell them! Our partners want to please us, let them know when they’re doing something that you like. My guess is that they’ll start doing them more. Sometimes we can tend towards focusing on the negative or what we’re not getting. Try focusing on what you are getting and see how this impacts your relationship.

2. Practice "The Compliment Challenge"

Challenge yourselves to give each other genuine compliments every day for a week. And no, "Nice socks" doesn't count! Get creative, get specific, and make each other feel cherished. Bonus points for incorporating playfulness into your compliments. Try saying something like: “Babe, I think it’s so sexy when you…”

3. Celebrate the Weirdness

You know those quirky habits that your partner has, like singing in the shower or doing a funky dance while making breakfast? Celebrate them! Life is too short to be serious all the time. Join in on the silliness, and you'll find yourself connecting on a whole new level. Plus, most people like to feel like they can be let loose, be weird and be appreciated for it.

4. Try "Random Act of Love" Days

Surprise each other with random acts of kindness and love. Whether it’s picking up their favorite snack at the store, leaving them a gushy voicemail, or setting up an impromptu picnic in the backyard, these small gestures can make a big difference in your relationship.

5. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude

Research shows that we are able to enjoy the things that we have more if we are actively grateful for them. Once a day, check in with your partner about at least two things that they were grateful for that day. Challenge yourselves to think of at least one thing that relates to your partner and/or relationship. Take it one step further and write them down in a journal or on slips of paper that you store in a jar. At the end of the year you can reflect back on all of the things that you were grateful for. It might sound something like: “I am grateful for your humor when I’ve had a hard day.” or “I am grateful that you got up early with the kids so I could sleep in.”

6. Tell Them What You Want

No, I’m not trying to be a smartass. A lot of us assume that our partner knows what we want when in reality, how could they ever know if we don’t tell them. There’s a myth out there that if our partner was the right partner for us or if they truly loved us that they could anticipate our needs. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Tell your partner what you need, set them up to succeed in loving you. A good partnership is one in which we help our partner be the best partner for us.